I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
