Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
