we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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