Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Randomize
