Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
