Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
