About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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