I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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