very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
