just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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