I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
