A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I think I died a long time ago.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
