Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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