His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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