She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
This baby is an asshole
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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