I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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