Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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