i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
