just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
