shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
They are going to name an STD after you.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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