Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
