i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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