everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Randomize
