Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
