Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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