Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
