either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
