I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
