I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
