my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
