If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
