i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
