how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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