there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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