No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
