Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I want a musical about memes.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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