just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
