I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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