If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize