I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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