He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
