And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
