this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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