it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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