3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
