i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
