Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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