I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
