He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I want a musical about memes.
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