Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
