Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
