operation have a gay friend backfired
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
