I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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