Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Im part way to drunk.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
