Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
