Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
