If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
