im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
