he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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